silicon chaos magic
The first step is accurately naming the demons.
at night the border between my bodies
is wafer-thin and i can’t walk alone
in deserted areas, something will find me
you will own nothing and you will be happy
hillary wakes up and takes a shot
of adrenochrome. this is a darkness
or several darknesses she performs
a series of comforting rituals this is
how she keeps herself afloat in a
human body or something like it
if you are sick it means that your body is sick
of being a body at night i feel the moods shifting
like changes in the light sometimes the edge is far
but sometimes
a chemical element with the symbol Si
and atomic number 14
a hard, brittle crystalline solid
such lucrative anarchism in the valley
they dared to bite the apple, hunt the ungodly
information, colonize mercury and climb
the piles of bodies, scrape empty the sky
it comes for the scent of weed like dogs
for bacon i left a body somewhere near the beach,
i don’t have so many left now the border
i inherited it from my sister
in our old house in amsterdam there was a woman
cleopatra-like who walked the hallway at night
with a small black disc embedded
between her shoulder blades
and that’s how you knew she was evil
i feel like i’m going to throw up
this is an omega epistemology
this is a bitch demon
i have followed the scent of
antipsychotics
& my own second-hand scared
while you have been hallucinating i have been fantasizing
(and what if there is nothing
i want to be alone in this poem
(but what if there is nothing
(and what if there is nothing
once you walk off the edge
of the earth & the poison
is water & the pizza parlors
have no basement what if
there’s no bottom to fall out of the
world villains’ faces dead & empty
& innocent as animals & they
have no grand alchemy
a terrible cruel world
hopelessly round
no edge to hold onto)
Traditionally, Aquarius is associated with electricity, computers, flight, democracy, freedom, humanitarianism, idealism, modernization, astrology, nervous disorders, rebellion, nonconformity, philanthropy, veracity, perseverance, humanity, and irresolution.
the throbbing heart of the constellation
the heart that doesn't exist
i wrap my hands around the heart
and it shatters into fragments
smaller bloodier hearts
honestly not saying this in the meme way,
but all them deserve to go to jail
i used to be a member of a message board
around the turn of the century
mercury and the making of california
god of commerce, god of messages
you slice into a planet and a toxic metal
spills out: silvery & liquid, burning
& crackling with secrets, covert beauty
destabilised regimes & easy fantasy
communication is the sister of divination
we considered ourselves to be a powerful culture
sending this message was important to us
this message is a warning about danger
body in coma and riding on beasts
take your pills with hot liquids
the moon wants to kill you
what if we kissed in the age of aquarius
meet me on the corner of the deep state and the dark web
meet me on the corner of lemuria and the millennial kingdom
i want my odic force back
i want to live like a fiend
i want to eat animal protein
and live in total chaos
the heart of discourse
the mythic center of the network
this cesspool — how to map it
within chaos magic a servitor is a psychological complex
deliberately created by the magician for a specific purpose
that appears to operate autonomously from the magician’s consciousness:
i.e. as if it were an independently existing being
did britney spears send out a coded message about mind control?
did grimes predict covid, vaccines and war back in 2019?
I am seventeen years old and learning to read symbols. Lady Gaga on a black and white checkered floor, the covered eye — you cut into everyday life and the occult leaks out, and everything seems a little more exciting, doesn’t it? I smoke weed and read articles. I am a vigilant citizen. I am lost in arcane clouds. I am learning how to
do close reading and formal analysis, which I will later apply during a cultural studies bachelor’s degree. I am daydreaming about MK Ultra. You cut into life and find celluloid. Oh, I never believed it. Not really. But it sure was fun for a while. Like there was a secret to be told. Oh, there are at least five people living in my head, and
they’re all gangstalking me from the inside, and I want all of this to mean something instead of just being randomly terrible. You know?
This world is wicked and upside down.
They are going down fast and they know it —
the great cleansing of the world is at hand.
Maybe their plan is secure and about to end
or take a next step. They feel in power for sure.
Is it because pigs are said to be
biologically close to humans?
Already some people look like monsters.
He’s either a demon or has a legion of demons
in him. Buckle up, Jesus is coming!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_moon
a chemical element with the symbol Hg
and atomic number 80
commonly known as quicksilver
the only metallic element that is liquid
at standard conditions for temperature
and pressure
my sister is made of information
and when she is fearful she sees information projected onto the walls
flickering signifiers, horror movies, invertebrate myths
the information solidifies and takes monstrous form,
the information and the alien queens conspire
to create ancient, ancient geometries — the ascended masters
assemble, the skyscrapers swarm, baby don’t you know
i’m an ancient astronaut and i spill my own angelic blood
like water, let’s wage war on the high capital of hell
this is information that has grown human skin and experiences
the tranquility of a tight hug, this is the story of the spine
and the invertebrate myth, the story of a girl
who is made of information and keeps asking
when she’ll finally get a body
i feel like i’m going to throw up
if i do there will be small black
seeds in the vomit and those i will
plant & then something will find me
in a dream if you are being chased
the trick is to kill yourself
as soon as possible
move fast and break the world
the bones of the dead come out of their graves
all men die, the earth burns with water
none of this is true but all of it is beautiful
you will know nothing and you will be happy
hillary wakes up, and
wakes up again, and
wakes up again, and
wakes up again. in the distance
she hears the gorging of the tribunal,
the firing squad.
I am not alone here.
I am never alone.
There is something else here.
I hope there is something else here.
I want to be kept company
by the conspiracies.
The sky is too vast and empty
otherwise. I stare
at its blank face
and begin to write on it.
